By then we had reached Devi Din's house. We took leave of each other. Jalpa pressed me very earnestly to come again at the same time tomorrow. She had no time to talk during the day. Only the evening gave her an opportunity. She wanted to collect enough money so that, at the very least, Dinesh's family would not suffer any hardship. She had already collected more than two hundred rupees. I too gave five rupees. Once or twice I mentioned that she should not involve herself in these disputes and should return to her own home, but I say plainly that I never urged this point strongly. Whenever I hinted at it, she made such a face as though she did not even want to hear it. I could never bring myself to say the whole thing. There is something—shall I tell you?
Rama said, as though half-heartedly, "What is it?"
Zohra said, "Shall I ask the deputy sahib to have Jalpa sent to Allahabad? She will not have any trouble. Two women will keep her occupied in conversation until she reaches the station. There she will find the train ready, and they can put her aboard. Or think of some other arrangement."
Rama looked directly into Zohra's eyes and said, "Would that be proper?"
Zohra said shyly, "No, it would not be proper."
Rama quickly put on his shoes and asked Zohra, "She is staying at Devi Din's house, isn't she?"
Zohra rose and came before him. "Are you going there at this hour?"
Ramanath said, "Yes, Zohra—I will leave right now. After saying a few words to her, I will go where I should have gone long ago."
Zohra said, "But think first. What will the result be?"
Ramanath said, "I have thought of everything. At most, three or four years in prison for perjury. That's all. Now farewell. Don't forget me, Zohra—perhaps we may never meet again!"
Rama descended from the veranda into the courtyard and, in an instant, was outside the gate. The gatekeeper said, "Have you informed the daroga sahib?"
Ramanath said, "There is no need."
The watchman said, "Let me just ask him. Why are you taking away my livelihood, sir?"
Rama gave no answer. He strode rapidly down the road. Zohra stood motionless, watching him with yearning eyes. She had never before felt such love for Rama, such a love that tore at her heart. It was as though a warrior woman, watching her beloved march toward the battlefield, could scarcely contain her pride.
The watchman hurried to the daroga and told him. The poor man had only just lain down after eating. He came out in alarm, ran after Rama, and called, "Babu Sahib, please listen for a moment. Wait just one minute. What good will this do? At least let us know where you are going!"
At last the poor man stumbled and fell. Rama turned back, helped him up, and asked, "Are you hurt anywhere?"
The daroga said, "Nothing happened. I just stumbled. But where are you going at this hour? Think about what the result will be."
Ramanath said, "I will be back within an hour. Jalpa has perhaps been persuaded by my opponents to file a petition in the High Court. I am going to reason with her."
The daroga asked, "How did you find this out?"
Ramanath said, "Zohra heard it somewhere."
The daroga said, "What a faithless woman! Such a woman ought to have her head cut off."
Ramanath said, "That is precisely why I am going. Either I will send her to the station right now, or I will deal with her so harshly that she will remember it too. There is no time for much conversation. Free me from this confinement for one night."
The daroga said, "I will come too. Wait a moment."
Ramanath said, "No, absolutely not. That would ruin everything. I will be back shortly."
The daroga was left speechless. He stood thinking for a minute, then turned back and, talking with Zohra, walked toward the police station.
Meanwhile Rama went ahead, hired a tonga, and reached Devi Din's house. Jalpa had returned from Dinesh's house and was sitting and talking with Jaggo and Devi Din. These days she ate only once a day. Just then Rama called out from below. Devi Din recognized his voice and said, "It is probably Bhaiya."
Jalpa said, "Tell him to say what he has come here for. Let him go there."
Devi Din said, "No, daughter, let me at least ask what he wants. How did he get leave at this hour?"
Jalpa said, "He must have come to persuade me, what else? But he should wash his mouth first."
Devi Din opened the door. Rama came inside and said, "Dada, you must be surprised to see me here at this hour. I have come on an hour's leave. I wanted to ask you people to forgive me for many of my offenses. Is Jalpa upstairs?"
Devi Din said, "Yes, she is. She has just come. Sit down; shall I bring you something to eat?"
Ramanath said, "No, I have already eaten. I only want to speak a few words with Jalpa."
Devi Din said, "She won't agree. You will only have to suffer unnecessary humiliation. She is not a woman who will relent."
Ramanath said, "Will she speak a few words with me, or does she not even want to see my face? Please go and ask her."
Devi Din said, "What is there to ask? They are both sitting there. Go up. Your home is as much yours now as it was then."
Ramanath said, "No, Dada, ask her first. I will not go up like this."
Devi Din went upstairs and said, "Daughter-in-law, he wants to say something to you."
Jalpa said sullenly, "Then why doesn't he say it? Has anyone tied my tongue shut?"
She had said this so loudly that Rama heard it downstairs too. How merciless it sounded! All his longing to meet her seemed to fly away. Standing where he was downstairs, he said, "If she does not wish to speak to me, there is no compulsion. I have decided to tell the judge the whole truth. That is why I came here at this moment. I regret that these people have suffered so much because of me. A veil had fallen over my intelligence. Self-interest had blinded me. Attachment to life and fear of suffering had robbed me of my reason. It was as though some evil planet had taken possession of my head. Their religious observances have pacified that planet. Perhaps I will have to be the government's guest for two or four years. I am not afraid of that. If I live, we shall meet again. If not, forgive my faults and forget me.
"You too, Devi, Dada and Dadi, forgive my offenses. I will never forget the kindness you have shown me, not until my dying breath. If I return alive, perhaps I will be able to serve you in some small way. My life has been completely ruined. I belong neither to religion nor to the world. Also tell her that it was I who stole her jewelry. I had no money to pay the goldsmith. It was necessary to return the jewelry, and that is why I committed that wrongdoing. I have been suffering the consequences ever since, and perhaps I will continue to suffer them until my last breath. If I had told her the whole story at the time of the engagement, she might have been angry then, but this calamity would never have fallen upon us.
"I deceived you too. Dada, I am not a Brahmin; I am a Kayastha. I deceived a godlike man such as you. I do not know what punishment I will receive for it. Forgive everything. That is all I came to say."
Rama descended from beneath the veranda and walked away rapidly.
Jalpa too came down from the upper room, but by the time she reached the bottom, Rama was nowhere to be seen. She stepped beneath the veranda and asked Devi Din, "Where did he go, Dada?"
Devi Din said, "I did not see, daughter. My eyes were filled with tears. You will not find him now. He went running."
Jalpa stood motionless in the street for several minutes. How could she have stopped him! How unhappy and hopeless he must be at this moment! What devil had taken possession of her that she had not called him up? Who knows what the future holds? Who knows when they would meet again?
In the two and a half years of their married life, her heart had never trembled with affection as it did now. In her former life of indulgence, she had been able to see only the outer covering of love. Today, having become a renunciant, she had seen its true form—how beautiful, how pure, how vast, how radiant. The woman of indulgence had seen the walls of the garden of love and had been content with that. As a renunciant, she had entered the garden itself. What a delightful scene it was, how much fragrance, how much variety, how much blossoming! Its fragrance and beauty were filled with divinity. When love reaches its highest place, it meets the divine.
Jalpa had no doubt now that, having found this love, she would remain blessed for lifetimes to come. This love had freed her from the fear of separation, circumstance, and death; it had granted her fearlessness. Before this love, the whole world and all its boundless splendor were now insignificant.
Just then Zohra arrived. Seeing Jalpa standing on the roadside, she said, "Why are you standing there, sister? I could not come today. Come, I have so many things to tell you today."
The two women went upstairs.